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When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn't keep around.
And that is quite depressing.
So many women had the potential to be great girlfriends.
But I had my brain up my butt.
... that may sounds a little harsh.
But it comes to TWO different problems:
First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I've never fully recovered. But I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.
I just accepted who I am.
Yes, I like video games and comic books.
But...
Do you think girls have cooler interests?
Is Myspace, shopping and getting drunk any cooler than what I'm into?
It's all are the same.
Self-acceptance is what really matters.
If you don't accept yourself, women won't accept you also.
Imagine a woman waiting to be your girlfriend and there you are not liking yourself?
She will HATE your presence and don't want to be around you.
Because you can't really like a woman, if you don't like yourself. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?
It may sound easy, but self-acceptance is hard to do. How many times have you hear these from people "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"
Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.
And I'm no exception.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.
Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after "mating", after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not divided from your game.
Your game IS YOU. This game is the degree to which you can demonstrates who you are.
You might be thinking "But I'm insecure, nervous and awkward." I disagree. That's not you.
That is the distorted you.
That's you trying to come out, but your old mental habits and ego stop you in expressing what you really want to express.
Before I get too deep into that, I want to move on to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.
I wasn't aware of shaping.
Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.
In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.
As you know, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to a man. Guys usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than a guy.
But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach her and treat her like she's lucky you talked to her, she'll feel that way.
Same through after mating, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.
This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I've developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
And women are different from each other. For example, I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want one woman to be just a partner in bed. I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what we want.
I used to remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I have.
And how frustrating it was to not see those women again using all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist.
But the moment I started to accept myself and finding out what I really wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is all about finding out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the girls you want to meet, sleep with, and date.
If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.
Tags: dating, dating tips, dating tips for men, neil strauss, pick-up artist.
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