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Pickup Artist Fashion Pt. 2 |
30th October 2008, 05:35 |
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(continued from part 1)
I've tried peacocking myself. I did this maybe a couple times when I heard that other guys were doing it, just to see if it worked.
I felt ridiculous, and was totally incongruent with my personality when I went out.
Women pay attention to fashion and like a well-dressed man, as we all know.
I noticed that it was in my workout clothes or something really basic - like jeans and a tanktop that some of my best pickups occurred.
At the same time, women definitely did not respond well to those muscled-up guys wearing revealing spandex, or super-tight shirts at the club.
It got me thinking... that maybe it's not how flashy or costly are the cloths should be.
Maybe there's something else going on.
Actually, there are two things going on, and you must manage, or balance these two things.
First and foremost, never seek approval from women. If a woman can tell that you are trying to impress her or make her like you, you are toast.
So if you come like you got dressed with a purpose of getting women's attention, they'll see you coming a mile a way and put up their defenses.
You DON'T have to look like a pick up artist.
To dress modestly and not put too much thought into it avails much.
However, you don't want to look sloppy. You want to present yourself in the best way you can.
This comes back to self-expression.
You already have a sense what kind of man you are, what your "scene" is, what you think is cool.
Do not change that.
Instead, cultivate it, with these simple tweaks.
Wear colors that suites to your skin tone and hair color. This isn't rocket science. You can look online or go to n upscale men's clothing store, and ask someone about this.
Next is to make sure that your clothes are clean, wrinkle free and reasonably updated. A woman will not worry about bringing you around her friends.
Lastly, make sure that your garments are well-fitted, in other words, they EMPHASIZE YOUR MASCULINE PHYSIQUE.
Wear shirts that narrow your waist, and square your shoulders.
Put on a pants that make your legs look long and thin.
Wear shoes that make your feet look big and well-formed.
Groom yourself - nose, neck, and ear hairs. Get a nice haircut. Shave, or don't, but figure out what looks great and take it all the way.
One other piece...
Accessories should adhere off you loosely, and have a look of a small decoration that says, "yeah, I can -bleep-."
I don't want to talk too much because that's a whole other topic because that's a whole other topic. Just use your intuition with this one. |
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Fashion For The Pickup Artist Pt. 1 |
14th October 2008, 07:39 |
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I am NOT a very fashionable type of guy.
I usually let my girlfriend pick out clothes for me - not
for MY benefit..
... so that if we go out in public together she will not
feel embarrassed!
If it were up to me, I'd wear sweats and a t-shirt all day,
with some old worn out sneakers. I mean, I think fashion is
pretty silly.
I definitely appreciate the artistic aspect of fashion
style and design. It is like a work of art when I look at a
very well dressed woman, I dig that.
But when a guy is "too stylish" I kinda lose respect for
him.
Don't misinterpret me, a man should present himself like he
means to be taken seriously. A nice suit, good quality,
well-fitting clothes are a basic of being a masculine.
But some men take it too far.
Case in point, the obsession with "peacocking" in the
pickup Community for the past several years.
It makes me cringe when I hear this term.
YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK.
Let me explain what is "peacocking," in case you're not
familiar.
A while ago, there was an emergence of routine-based
"game," relying heavily on superficial techniques, status
games, and over-analysis of social interactions.
This always gone in the opposite direction and I never saw
the value of it.
Major reason is I saw how pretending to be someone other
than yourself, and it JUST FELT WRONG saying the routines
and joke that the other guys came up with.
On top of that, the PRIMARY FOCUS of all that strategizing
and game-playing was to covertly get approval from women,
while making them feel insecure so they'd think you were
cooler than them.
Think about the layers of bullshit in that approach to
dating. Not only are you faking your personality because you
a) look for approval (as if girls were an authority on what
makes man a man)
b) hide the fact that you're seeking approval
c) play games with women so that they feel insecure and try
to seek your approval
YUCK
One of the main techniques of this approach was to
"peacock," to dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so
that women would "notice" you and want to talk to you.
Wearing a nice watch, or a necklace isn't a bad thing
because some have personal meaning.
But I never do that just to make women like me.
I'm sure many guys have seen the advocates of this approach
on TV shows,straining to make sense out of this hare-brained
"technique."
I've personally encountered students of other pickup
schools, and felt sad because these poor guys were not only
nervous, clumsy, misdirected...they looked RETARDED.
So I want to make a direct proof when it comes to fashion
and approaching women.
There are few pieces of things you need to pay attention to
when it comes to your physical looks.
After you get this stuff handled, you should put it out of
your mind, and not wait for women to notice you before you
TAKE ACTION.
Before moving on, I have something to expose.
(To be Continued in Part 2) |
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How to Become a Masterful Storyteller |
8th September 2008, 07:12 |
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Okay guys, I know you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful.
Today we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!
In “Part I” we covered why storytelling is important and how it can improve your game dramatically. And there were two things I asked of you
One was to create a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and the other was to write down 5 things about your personality that you want people to know about you.
We are going to start out working with these things.
For now, your main demographic with these stories is women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)
To start with, take out the list of your 7-10 story ideas and cut them down to 5 solid ideas eliminating the ones that you think may not seem to interesting to other people.
Reflect on these 5 stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection too, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience.
After reflecting on the 5 solid ideas, we are going to just concentrate on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.
You may also ask your friends about which story topics they would be more interested in hearing to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.
And of course I have anticipated also that there were some of you out there that were to modest to come up with 10 ideas and only got around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.
As I said before I would do this exercise along with you, however, critiquing all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.
Now I am going to try to debunk all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me the other day, so I figure this is a prime example)
"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."
I know, it's an annoying story... but we can turn this into something awesome.
First we need to understand the Okay guys, this is "Part II" of the storytelling newsletter.
In "Part I" we covered why storytelling is important and how it can improve your game dramatically.
Now that you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!
In "Part I" there were two things I asked of you
One was to create a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and the other was to write down 5 things about your identity that you want people to know about you.
We are going to start out working with these things.
First lets take out the 7-10 story ideas and cut them down to 5 solid ideas, cross off ones that you think may not seem to interesting to other people or ones that were "you kind of had to be there" stories.
Now that you got 5 solid ideas down we are going to just focus on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.
To narrow it down, reflect on these 5 stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection too, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience.
For now, your main demographic with these stories is women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)
Also feel free to ask your friends about which story subjects they would be more interested in hearing to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.
And of course I'm sure there were still some of you out there that were to modest to come up with 10 ideas and only got around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.
I said I would do this exercise along with you, however, critiquing all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.
Now I am going to try to discard all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me the other day, so I figure this is a prime example)
"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."
Okay, pretty annoying story...I know, but we can turn this into something awesome.
First we need to understand the 3 components of a good story.
The first component, is "The Hook Question"
The object of the hook question is to make sure everyone in the group you are telling the story gets involved.
You use the hook question to captivate the group and the hook question is the line you deliver to introduce your story.
When using the hook question make sure you have the attention of EVERYONE in the group before you start going into the story, if one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.
Make eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.
There are two different types of hook questions.
An open ended hook question and a yes or no hook question.
I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.
So a possible open ended hook question for my story would be "How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?"
A possible yes or no hook question would be "Have you ever been to club voodoo?"
So let's add this to the story... (Find a hook question for your example stories as well)
I like open ended hook questions more so to start my story in the interaction I would say
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just can't get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo...(rest of story)
Now that you have the hook question down, we are going to rewrite our stories to demonstrate aspects of identity because the next step is to demonstrate personality.
There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.
My 5 things were:
I am a musician
I am a very social person
I have a high and fun energy
I have a good sense of humor
I am interested in video and photography
Now you want to try to at least fit 3 of your 5 things into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.
Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.
Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.
You should always have tension build up to excitement or your audience will have a feeling of lack of resolution but that is the last component of a story that I will get into shortly.
Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.
So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality...
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can't to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).
Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)
So my friends and I keep trying to away from him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).
Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.
As you can see, the story starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends.
The last component of story is the punch line. A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it's over. It can be one line or much more...
To successfully deliver the punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.
The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.
The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.
Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy's part and I don't want to associate myself with friends like that. Also...a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.
So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.
Nothing wrong with changing up some incidents if it makes things more entertaining...after all...it's a "STORY"
So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway...my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table...and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know...that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened...it was full...so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again...I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)
Now if you have done these three steps to your stories, you got some great stuff on your hands.
HOWEVER....there is still a few more sprinkles you are going to want to add to your story someday.
These things are the secret little tips of successful storytelling.
The first and most important is creating check in points.
Check in points are mini questions you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.
Examples are "That ever happen to you?" "Don't you hate when that happens?" "You know what I mean?"
Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.
Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. ex. "Kind of like that over there" "Reminds me of her (point to person)."
You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won't need one near the end.
If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.
An example in a passage of my story would be:
"Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing....kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar)."
You don't always need a full response with your check in points. A nod is perfectly okay when regaining focus of the audience.
The first component, is "The Hook Question". And there are two different types of hook questions:
1. open ended hook question and
2. a yes or no hook question.
Now the object of the hook question is to captivate the attention of the group making sure everyone in you are telling the story gets involved.
The hook question is the line you deliver to introduce your story.
When using the hook question make sure you have the attention of EVERYONE in the group before you start going into the story, if one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.
Make eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.
For the two different types of hook questions I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.
Using my story lets have an example for the two different hook questions:
For open ended hook question would be "How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?"
For a yes or no hook question would be "Have you ever been to club voodoo?"
Now that you have the idea you can now have your own hook question to add for your example stories.
I like open ended hook questions more so to start my story in the interaction I would say
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just can't get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo...(rest of story)
The next component is to demonstrate personality.
There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.
My 5 things were:
I am a very social person
I am interested in video and photography
I am a musician
I have a high and fun energy
I have a good sense of humor
Now you want to try to at least fit 3 of your 5 things into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.
Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.
Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.
You should always have tension build up to excitement or your audience will have a feeling of lack of resolution but that is the last component of a story that I will get into shortly.
Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.
So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality...
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can't to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).
Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)
So my friends and I keep trying to away from him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).
Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.
As you can see, the story starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends.
The last component of story is the punch line. A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it's over. It can be one line or much more...
To successfully deliver the punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.
The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.
The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.
Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy's part and I don't want to associate myself with friends like that. Also...a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.
So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.
Nothing wrong with changing up some incidents if it makes things more entertaining...after all...it's a "STORY"
So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway...my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table...and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know...that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened...it was full...so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again...I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)
Now if you'll start using these three steps to your stories, you will surely gonna got some great stuff on your hands.
BUT WAIT ....There is still a few more sprinkles that I want to share with you and you will add this to your story someday.
These things are the secret little tips of a successful storyteller.
The first and most important is creating check in points.
Check in points are mini questions or lines you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.
Examples are "That ever happen to you?" "Don't you hate when that happens?" "You know what I mean?"
Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.
Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. For example, "Kind of like that over there" "Reminds me of her (point to person)."
You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won't need one near the end.
If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.
An example in a passage of my story would be:
"Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing....kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar)."
You don't always need a full response with your check in points. A simple nod is would be okay when regaining focus of the audience.
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How to Supercharge Your Conversations, and Generate Massive Attraction |
28th August 2008, 02:49 |
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Today I will be sharing with you the tips on how to be a successful story teller and how to construct a powerful story that can hold the interest of not only women but anyone in your life. These tips when used properly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
But before anything else, I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth 1: Does my story needs to be true and should it be about about me?.
It's up to you whether its true or not what matter is on how you keep your conversation fun. Applying the right techniques in your story telling can keep the conversation moving.
Keeping your story fun, even if the women doesn't believe the story you are telling, can make them entertained and most likely run with new topics that have developed from your stories.
I'm not telling you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion. However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that a woman can get involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
The goal of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
With the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
In applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth 2: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting way that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)
There are many reasons why storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. They begin with great interaction and, then the conversation starts to die then there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
You will have a more approach of confidence if you know you are armed with a story when entering an interaction.
Running out of things to say can make a conversation die and that is why there are people who are afraid to start and enter to an interactions. But by developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
If you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."
*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down seven to ten moments in your life that you feel have changed or defined who you are..
If you have a funny story or humorous event that occurs in your life then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
This is conveying your your personality. Think of the things that you would like others to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your personality and make you who you are. Don't be surprised if the things that you write will directly related in some of the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save that list for we will be using it in Part II of this newsletter, to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
Watch out for the next newsletter and get ready for the next level of storytelling.
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Letting a Girl Know that You are for Real |
22nd August 2008, 08:43 |
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How do you let a woman know that you are for real? Or how does she know that after she sleeps with you all of what you said will be backed up?
These questions have the same answer. “CREDIBILITY”.
Able to create credibility is one of the main components in sleeping with a girl quickly.
Also sexual tension is another component (which will be take up on the next newsletter).
And as a good student of pick-up, you know that some women need sexual tension to sleep with you and the other half need credibility first. (You do know that, right?)
To those guys that think they don't have enough value, 90% of the time, it's credibility they lack. In fact, these days most of everything used to create value only serves to make a nasty woman-repelling player vibe.
"Player vibe" is not actually a negative vibe, but a mistake in building and maintaining credibility.
So let's go to the three levels of credibility.
1. Safety
2. Commonality
3. Direction
Safety: The most basic and fundamental level of credibility, you need to demonstrate SAFETY before a woman will be alone with you and sleep with you.
Commonality: You need to demonstrate commonality in order for a woman to continue sleeping with you, or have a relationship with you.
Direction: You need to show direction in order to get a woman to leave her current boyfriend or change her existing life plans to be with you.
A WORD ABOUT SOCIAL PROGRAMMING ->
We have to realize that every person we meet is socially programmed in a different way. Even you yourself have your own social programming. We all do.
This is not really a bad thing. On the contrary, it's very useful.
Realize that although we understand a lot of a girls behaviors come from her social programming, we can't expect her to realize that.
Men have evolved an instinct to try to sleep with as many girls as possible while girls have evolved an instinct to choose guys who demonstrate a high chance of sticking around with them and to raise children.
And this instinct is build by social programming.
Girls programming is her reality and their programming is literally her world.
And credibility is about showing you understand her world.
HERE'S AN EXAMPLE ->
Let's say you are comfortably warm sitting in a chair in your bedroom.
And then a guy came in. And he said he was cold and wanted to turn up the heat. Then he told you he liked the couch you were sitting in. And asked if he could urinate in the corner.
In that kind of act I bet you would feel uncomfortable with him. You might even think he's crazy.
He's showing you that he's not seeing the same reality as you. He's "in his own world".
I bet you wouldn't trust or give a compliance with a guy like that.
Because he has shown you that he doesn't understand and respect your world - you probably wouldn't want connect with him.
This is how girls feel when you don't demonstrate credibility.
If she thinks that it's a bad thing for people to kiss and tell (and most girls do) -> You should show her you ALSO believe it's bad for people to kiss and tell.
Having the same perceptions with her will build your credibility dramatically
Think of the three levels in this way:
Safety - It's safe to have you in her world.
Commonality - You see the a common things in her world. (Similar perceptions, values, and goals)
Direction - You have the ability to modify and alter her world.
These are best demonstrated in order.
And you can get really good at this. At first, guys are usually good at meeting a certain kind of girl.
It's because he naturally understands a certain type of worldview.
But as you get good, you'll start to be able to match ANY woman's worldview.
A good way of doing this is by anticipating the girls thoughts and verbalizing her feelings or views about the world, as if they are your own.
First thing you need to do to remember the things she said, and then repeating it after she's forgotten she's said anything.
From this you will get good at pacing her reality and leading. Eventually it leads to the point where you can intuitively understand her reality. Then she will trust you to change it for her. You enter her world, and then start teaching her new things about HER world.
That's when you know you get this thing.
When someone comes along who understands a woman's reality so well, she doesn't just think a guys perceptive and skilled, she just feels a connection.
She thinks "He's just like me!"
This is really the easiest thing in the world but its a major piece that will improve your game immensely.
So use this wisely and don't mess it up with it. |
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How To Keep the Girl |
30th July 2008, 07:39 |
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When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn't keep around.
And that is quite depressing.
So many women had the potential to be great girlfriends.
But I had my brain up my butt.
... that may sounds a little harsh.
But it comes to TWO different problems:
First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I've never fully recovered. But I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.
I just accepted who I am.
Yes, I like video games and comic books.
But...
Do you think girls have cooler interests?
Is Myspace, shopping and getting drunk any cooler than what I'm into?
It's all are the same.
Self-acceptance is what really matters.
If you don't accept yourself, women won't accept you also.
Imagine a woman waiting to be your girlfriend and there you are not liking yourself?
She will HATE your presence and don't want to be around you.
Because you can't really like a woman, if you don't like yourself. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?
It may sound easy, but self-acceptance is hard to do. How many times have you hear these from people "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"
Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.
And I'm no exception.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.
Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after "mating", after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not divided from your game.
Your game IS YOU. This game is the degree to which you can demonstrates who you are.
You might be thinking "But I'm insecure, nervous and awkward." I disagree. That's not you.
That is the distorted you.
That's you trying to come out, but your old mental habits and ego stop you in expressing what you really want to express.
Before I get too deep into that, I want to move on to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.
I wasn't aware of shaping.
Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.
In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.
As you know, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to a man. Guys usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than a guy.
But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach her and treat her like she's lucky you talked to her, she'll feel that way.
Same through after mating, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.
This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I've developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
And women are different from each other. For example, I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want one woman to be just a partner in bed. I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what we want.
I used to remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I have.
And how frustrating it was to not see those women again using all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist.
But the moment I started to accept myself and finding out what I really wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is all about finding out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the girls you want to meet, sleep with, and date.
If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE. |
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Pickup Artist Phone Game: NoFlakes System |
24th July 2008, 09:22 |
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Pickup Artist Phone Game: NoFlakes System |
22nd July 2008, 02:13 |
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http://www.vindicarlo.com/noflakesdvd
"If YOU Want To Eliminate All The Disappointment That Can Come From Unanswered Calls and Having Women Flake Out on You, Then go to NoFlakesDVD.com"
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu5jnRTVNUI] |
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