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How to Supercharge Your Conversations, and Generate Massive Attraction |
28th August 2008, 02:49 |
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Today I will be sharing with you the tips on how to be a successful story teller and how to construct a powerful story that can hold the interest of not only women but anyone in your life. These tips when used properly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
But before anything else, I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth 1: Does my story needs to be true and should it be about about me?.
It's up to you whether its true or not what matter is on how you keep your conversation fun. Applying the right techniques in your story telling can keep the conversation moving.
Keeping your story fun, even if the women doesn't believe the story you are telling, can make them entertained and most likely run with new topics that have developed from your stories.
I'm not telling you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion. However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that a woman can get involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
The goal of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
With the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
In applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth 2: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting way that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)
There are many reasons why storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. They begin with great interaction and, then the conversation starts to die then there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
You will have a more approach of confidence if you know you are armed with a story when entering an interaction.
Running out of things to say can make a conversation die and that is why there are people who are afraid to start and enter to an interactions. But by developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
If you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."
*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down seven to ten moments in your life that you feel have changed or defined who you are..
If you have a funny story or humorous event that occurs in your life then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
This is conveying your your personality. Think of the things that you would like others to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your personality and make you who you are. Don't be surprised if the things that you write will directly related in some of the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save that list for we will be using it in Part II of this newsletter, to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
Watch out for the next newsletter and get ready for the next level of storytelling.
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Letting a Girl Know that You are for Real |
22nd August 2008, 08:43 |
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How do you let a woman know that you are for real? Or how does she know that after she sleeps with you all of what you said will be backed up?
These questions have the same answer. “CREDIBILITY”.
Able to create credibility is one of the main components in sleeping with a girl quickly.
Also sexual tension is another component (which will be take up on the next newsletter).
And as a good student of pick-up, you know that some women need sexual tension to sleep with you and the other half need credibility first. (You do know that, right?)
To those guys that think they don't have enough value, 90% of the time, it's credibility they lack. In fact, these days most of everything used to create value only serves to make a nasty woman-repelling player vibe.
"Player vibe" is not actually a negative vibe, but a mistake in building and maintaining credibility.
So let's go to the three levels of credibility.
1. Safety
2. Commonality
3. Direction
Safety: The most basic and fundamental level of credibility, you need to demonstrate SAFETY before a woman will be alone with you and sleep with you.
Commonality: You need to demonstrate commonality in order for a woman to continue sleeping with you, or have a relationship with you.
Direction: You need to show direction in order to get a woman to leave her current boyfriend or change her existing life plans to be with you.
A WORD ABOUT SOCIAL PROGRAMMING ->
We have to realize that every person we meet is socially programmed in a different way. Even you yourself have your own social programming. We all do.
This is not really a bad thing. On the contrary, it's very useful.
Realize that although we understand a lot of a girls behaviors come from her social programming, we can't expect her to realize that.
Men have evolved an instinct to try to sleep with as many girls as possible while girls have evolved an instinct to choose guys who demonstrate a high chance of sticking around with them and to raise children.
And this instinct is build by social programming.
Girls programming is her reality and their programming is literally her world.
And credibility is about showing you understand her world.
HERE'S AN EXAMPLE ->
Let's say you are comfortably warm sitting in a chair in your bedroom.
And then a guy came in. And he said he was cold and wanted to turn up the heat. Then he told you he liked the couch you were sitting in. And asked if he could urinate in the corner.
In that kind of act I bet you would feel uncomfortable with him. You might even think he's crazy.
He's showing you that he's not seeing the same reality as you. He's "in his own world".
I bet you wouldn't trust or give a compliance with a guy like that.
Because he has shown you that he doesn't understand and respect your world - you probably wouldn't want connect with him.
This is how girls feel when you don't demonstrate credibility.
If she thinks that it's a bad thing for people to kiss and tell (and most girls do) -> You should show her you ALSO believe it's bad for people to kiss and tell.
Having the same perceptions with her will build your credibility dramatically
Think of the three levels in this way:
Safety - It's safe to have you in her world.
Commonality - You see the a common things in her world. (Similar perceptions, values, and goals)
Direction - You have the ability to modify and alter her world.
These are best demonstrated in order.
And you can get really good at this. At first, guys are usually good at meeting a certain kind of girl.
It's because he naturally understands a certain type of worldview.
But as you get good, you'll start to be able to match ANY woman's worldview.
A good way of doing this is by anticipating the girls thoughts and verbalizing her feelings or views about the world, as if they are your own.
First thing you need to do to remember the things she said, and then repeating it after she's forgotten she's said anything.
From this you will get good at pacing her reality and leading. Eventually it leads to the point where you can intuitively understand her reality. Then she will trust you to change it for her. You enter her world, and then start teaching her new things about HER world.
That's when you know you get this thing.
When someone comes along who understands a woman's reality so well, she doesn't just think a guys perceptive and skilled, she just feels a connection.
She thinks "He's just like me!"
This is really the easiest thing in the world but its a major piece that will improve your game immensely.
So use this wisely and don't mess it up with it. |
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How To Keep the Girl |
30th July 2008, 07:39 |
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When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn't keep around.
And that is quite depressing.
So many women had the potential to be great girlfriends.
But I had my brain up my butt.
... that may sounds a little harsh.
But it comes to TWO different problems:
First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I've never fully recovered. But I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.
I just accepted who I am.
Yes, I like video games and comic books.
But...
Do you think girls have cooler interests?
Is Myspace, shopping and getting drunk any cooler than what I'm into?
It's all are the same.
Self-acceptance is what really matters.
If you don't accept yourself, women won't accept you also.
Imagine a woman waiting to be your girlfriend and there you are not liking yourself?
She will HATE your presence and don't want to be around you.
Because you can't really like a woman, if you don't like yourself. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?
It may sound easy, but self-acceptance is hard to do. How many times have you hear these from people "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"
Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.
And I'm no exception.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
But the degree to which you banish these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.
Because game is really about being yourself, not doubting yourself. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after "mating", after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not divided from your game.
Your game IS YOU. This game is the degree to which you can demonstrates who you are.
You might be thinking "But I'm insecure, nervous and awkward." I disagree. That's not you.
That is the distorted you.
That's you trying to come out, but your old mental habits and ego stop you in expressing what you really want to express.
Before I get too deep into that, I want to move on to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.
I wasn't aware of shaping.
Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.
In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.
As you know, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to a man. Guys usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than a guy.
But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach her and treat her like she's lucky you talked to her, she'll feel that way.
Same through after mating, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.
This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I've developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
And women are different from each other. For example, I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want one woman to be just a partner in bed. I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what we want.
I used to remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I have.
And how frustrating it was to not see those women again using all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist.
But the moment I started to accept myself and finding out what I really wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is all about finding out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the girls you want to meet, sleep with, and date.
If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE. |
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Pickup Artist Phone Game: NoFlakes System |
24th July 2008, 09:22 |
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Pickup Artist Phone Game: NoFlakes System |
22nd July 2008, 02:13 |
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http://www.vindicarlo.com/noflakesdvd
"If YOU Want To Eliminate All The Disappointment That Can Come From Unanswered Calls and Having Women Flake Out on You, Then go to NoFlakesDVD.com"
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu5jnRTVNUI] |
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Pickup Artist Phone Game: NoFlakes System |
21st July 2008, 09:26 |
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Managing Your Time when Meeting Women |
18th July 2008, 02:21 |
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Dating can be your best friend.
...OR your worst adversary.
Most of the time, a man can feel like a slave to his natural need to procreate.
Then there's that common phrase, "He thinks with his... You know."
Well it is hard NOT think that way if you are physically unsatisfied.
But men are also goal oriented.
We are doers, and need to achieve things and affect the world in a positive way.
One of the biggest challenges I've personally faced is balancing the two - my urges and achieving my goals.
When you are single, dating can consume a lot of time. Women will suck away at your time if you don't know what you're doing.
Before you notice it, you are spending hours feeding the birds and cuddling in the park... now nothing wrong with spending a quality time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS IT DON'T interferes YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.
Goals take time, but so do women.
In fact, it's the nature of a woman to take up the man's time - it's her way of getting you to invest in her. That way if the woman gets pregnant there's a less chance of you leaving (this comes from our caveman days, so to speak).
It is really tricky to manage your time with women. You see, giving their time to women is what most guys WANT to give. By nature men are "givers." They like to please women, protect them, and give them good feelings.
Men also have a urges that can completely take over your thoughts.
Both of these things can get in the way of you making the most time of your life.
Now take a minute to ask yourself about this, "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?"
Now I'm willing to bet it wasn't "money," or "lots of my free time," or "control over my life."
It was probably something like "feeling of safety, good feelings, sexual pleasure, excitement, relaxation, make her smile or feel good about herself, etc."
I think guys have some difficulties with how they use their time with women in two ways.
First, they overcompensate with other stuff - like spending too much time or money on a woman because they think that the gifts they REALLY wanted to give aren't that valuable.
Second, men think that they are "getting" something valuable when a woman spends her time with them.
Society brainwashes men to believe that women are a prize to claim, and that there's some inherent value in a pretty face.
It's not TRUE!
The best thing is to see women for what they are, nothing more, nothing less. They are cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!
Now getting out of this mental prison of feeling inferior to women is really hard.
Your mental habits are subtle and hard to notice because you've been doing them for years.
Young men are taught that their urges is crude and silly, and that it is just a favor that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.
There's another societal factor going on, that I call the "doofus dad" syndrome. In almost every TV commercial and sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband" is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her superior intelligence to fix the situation.
This will bring to the idea that the time of the women is more valuable than men because of the perception that women are "better."
If your time is not so valuable, then you will feel obligated to give her LOTS OF IT.
But here's the thing - if you are giving a woman too much time, you won't be present for most of that time. You will be distracted, resentful, you will give her your "half-assed" attention.
When I analyzed tons and tons of dates I went on women, it was just when I realized it.
After that I started giving women smaller amounts of my time, but with my FULL ATTENTION.
Not only did this make our time better, it created MASSIVE ATTRACTION because I left women craving more.
This make my girlfriends can't get enough of me - and I don't GIVE THEM "enough."
Ask you know, "enough" would mean, "overexposure" to me, and women can't be pulled to what they already have.
The proper way to manage your time is by being HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play games with women and pretend to be busy or whatever.
Just be real with her - don't spend more time that you want. no need of games.
Enjoy whatever free time you have with women but still with focus on your personal goals. Be the man on the go.
Now it requires that in a short span of time that you can be able to meet a lot of women, which I'll have to take up in another newsletter.
It's not good to see that men waste their lives chasing and "putting up with" girls, and then they are left out ALONE.
You should think that women aren't property that you can keep or somehow bring with you when you die.
Investing all your time with a woman is not a guarantee that you can "keep" her.
I want to make one more point - when you start being honest about how much time you're willing to give a woman, you may feel GUILTY.
It either she will make you feel guilty or you will feel it on your own. That's ok, it just means that you have a weak focus.
You see, it usually comes from the social norm if you are following your true ways.
If you are in the mental habit of adopting the values others try to impose onto you, you will most likely experience some discomfort, tension, guilt, even loneliness at first.
That's why I set and develop the Attraction Code. It's all about self-control, finding true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge from within.
And no, we don't intend to impose our goals to you. I think you are capable enough to handle it to yourself, given the proper guidance.
Vin
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Dating Tips: Attracting a "10 |
14th July 2008, 06:07 |
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If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a 10, then I think you'll find this letter very interesting.
But first off, let go waaay back...
When I was in high school, there was this girl in my class who was perfect.
She was intelligent, cool, and so beautiful that it was hard to look at her (and yet I couldn't stop my eyes looking)...
She was friendly to everyone and was one of the popular kids in school.
We talked occasionally, and looking back I realize we were flirting (I was too stupid to realize at the time).
I wanted to ask her to senior prom so badly...but I chickened out at the last minute.
It was a few years later that I realized that the girl had a crushed on me all the senior year.
I've talked to a lot of guys and this experience seems pretty common, there was this ONE SPECIAL GIRL who you crushed on from afar, or you missed an opportunity with her, or she broke your heart...
Ah, the unreachable "10," a perfect woman that every men dream but seems hard to attain.
I have a lot to say about the concept of "10's," In deeper sense they are another "breed" of women, but it is on the way they think that makes them so.
Understanding the reality of the extremely beautiful women and understanding your own fascination for a perfect women will help you resolve this conundrum, and might even help you in finding your "perfect girl."
First of all, the concept of a "10" is a myth. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more "valuable" just because she looks nicer than other women.
The woman that is perfect for you is the one who can turns you on and have a great chemistry with you. That is the only true "10".
Following this reasoning, the world is full of 10's, given you have the skills to meet a lot of women and create options for yourself.
Treating a woman differently than other women just because she is prettier is a recipe for failure.
Why?
Because almost all men do that.
The girl knows what you are about and she sees you as a shallow guy.
But there definitely are certain women that seem on another "level" of beauty than the rest. These women get treated much differently than other women.
You need to understand on how you will deal with these kinds of women.
Like I said, you shouldn't treat them "differently."
Let me clarify.
You shouldn't treat a woman BETTER than the other women. But there are things that you need to know.
First, she is sick of guys chasing her for her looks alone.
She wants to be appreciated for her personality more than anything else.
Now for your own sake I'm going to give you a heads up.
There are two types of "10's."
Low self-esteem and high self-esteem.
The pretty common is the low self-esteem 10's. Women here have a guilt complex. Because they are used to being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn't EARN that attention.
In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are in complete dumbasses.
It may sounds not good but I call it like it is.
These type of women will respond to jerk-behavior. Taking away their validation will make them flip out and do anything to get it back.
Anything.
(Aside from that, these women usually suck in bed and are total head cases when you get involved with them.)
Meanwhile, the high self-esteem 10's are women that have had a taste of the elite - early from the start they realized that high levels of society were attainable to them, they exert an effort be intelligent, successful and make the most of their lives.
These women know that they are just a little closer to a great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to put in the extra effort.
Usually HSE 10's are intellegent, have good attitudes, have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being clubbing.
Actually, most of beautiful women I've dated didn't even go to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or studying if they were in college).
And here's another interesting thing. These women are single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?
It is because they have high standards for themselves, and this makes most men either too intimidated to ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them, it's rare that they meet another man who is on their level.
But here's the good news. These women are the easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.
The Attraction Code is about being the best man you can be, being a "male 10."
You will notice an interesting thing if you start to apply the Attraction Code.
You'll get odd responses from less attractive women - they will occasionally be rude to you because they know they're not on your level - it's what I call the Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some women will try to protect themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.
But the most attractive, cool women will respond much differently...you'll be amazed to see the most beautiful women warm right up to you as soon as you approach - whether on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you are on their "level."
She thinks to herself, "finally, a guy who can hang with me; he's confident and treats me like a real person. And he's the only guy who's actually tried to talk to me today, instead of whistling from his car."
The Attraction Code[url][/url] is meant for these kinds of women. Of course you'll also enjoy plenty of "adventures" with all kinds of women, but ultimately this is about having the option of dating the hottest, highest quality women.
There are bunch of 10's out there waiting for you.
Don't spend another year missing something that you could've been enjoying right now.
Vin |
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